Pause Jokes

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."

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Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a pound of coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop a pound of coke.

What do you call a baby from Dover?

Doverkiin.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call a joke that only works written down instead of told orally?

A sic joke

What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

Polar Bear Jokes More Polar Bear Jokes

Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?

It lives on ice!

What's a polar bear?

A rectangular bear after a cordinate transform.

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

What do you call Irish sunscreen?

A pub.

What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub?

A barredvark!

Deaf Man Jokes More Deaf Man Jokes

Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?

Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

Why do husbands die before their wives?

They want to.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why do women and children evacuate first in an emergency?

So the men can go on Reddit and repost this joke.

What did the ant whisper into the elephant's ear that made the elephant faint?

I'm going to be the mother of your children." I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...

Paw Jokes More Paw Jokes

Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?

To see who shot his "paw."

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.