Race Car Jokes

Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past?

It had a SPOILER on it.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What does a flower in a race car yell?

Petal to the nettle!

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Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?

They both don't work and always take your money

Why do wallets make so much noise?

Because money talks.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire!

What's the difference between a duck?

One leg is both the same.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat?

To keep her head warm.

Why do hipsters not wear cardigans anymore?

Because they wore them before it was cool.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

When Arwen and Aragorn got married... was Frodo designated to be the Ring bearer?

Edit Thanks KikifounUnui... not my main language TT

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Spoiler Jokes More Spoiler Jokes

Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past?

It had a SPOILER on it.

Why should you never watch a movie with a generous Nascar driver?

He might give away spoilers!

Result Jokes More Result Jokes

What two words result in the most marriages?

Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer

Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic.

Maintain Jokes More Maintain Jokes

What's the difference between hardware and software?

Hardware breaks if you maintain it.

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

How is a woman who got her winter coat at Target similar to an officer on leave?

They both got their fur low.