Tunnel Jokes

Why didn't George like driving through tunnels with people in his car?

He didn't want to get carpool tunnel syndrome.

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Why are New Yorkers so depressed?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

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Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How many have you derailed this year?

I replied, "I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"

Why do old people read the Bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the Bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

Afternoon Jokes More Afternoon Jokes

Why doesn't a sociologist look out the window in the morning?

Because then they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

What's white in the morning, white in the afternoon and white in the evening?

An Irishman trying to get a tan.

Pessimist Jokes More Pessimist Jokes

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What kind of car does Jesus drive?

A Christler.

What do you call someone who dances on cars?

A morris dancer!

New Jersey Jokes More New Jersey Jokes

Why are New Yorkers so depressed?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

Where did the team get there uniforms?

New Jersey

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

Why is a train like a stick of gum?

One goes choo-choo the other goes chew-chew.

Why is it not safe to doze on trains?

Because they run over sleepers.

Injure Jokes More Injure Jokes

What is an injured persons favorite movie?

Cast Away

What does a bird with an injured wing need?

Tweetment!

Queen Jokes More Queen Jokes

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)