Walken Jokes

What did the shoemaker say about actor Christopher's custom-made footwear?

These Boots Are Made For Walken.....

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Why was christopher never in the same place?

Because he's always Walken

Where does Christopher Walken like to smoke cigars?

A Walken humidor.

Where does Christopher keep his dance shoes?

In the Walken closet.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling?

He likes it dirty.

What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish?

His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!

Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of drunken noodles?

Soba noodles!

What is the opposite of a protein?

An amateur teen ()

Cigar Jokes More Cigar Jokes

How near was the boy to his dad's tobacco stash before getting busted?

Close... but no cigar.

What's the difference between a Dominican and a Cuban?

Dominicans are close, but no cigar

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know your dog's cancer is really bad?

If the vet says it's mutt-astasized.

Why is it so hard to get to know Guantanamo Bay detainees?

Because they're too cagey.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They just hold the bulb in place and the world revolves around them.

What's worse than a chauvinist man?

A woman who doesn't know her place.

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v. show?

I wish I could hear you whinnie.

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

Boot Jokes More Boot Jokes

Where's Frank?

Got adopted 3 weeks ago. Gone soft too. Healthcare plan. Hypoallergenic blanket. Goes by Mr. Boots now.

Why did the dog wear white sneakers?

Because his boots were at the menders!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What does a mole think, when he digs trough lower Austria?

Make way, children.

What did the ventriloquist say to their friend?

Nothing. He's mute. I don't even think he's as ventriloquist.