Wrist Jokes

Why do people point at their wrist when asking for the time?

Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

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Where's the best place to pick up a girl who plays hard-to-get?

Around the ankles and wrists

How do depressed people play the violin?

With a razor and their wrist.

What type of wrists are the scariest?

Terror wrists.

What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity?

Making their wrist look like their jeans. (I'm sorry)

What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists?

Rise up lights

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Violin Jokes More Violin Jokes

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

A viola burns longer.

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?

Whats your best "This is so bad that " joke?

For example, "this is so bad TBS just picked it up for 6 episodes."

Crotch Jokes More Crotch Jokes

Where was the pirate when he was hit in the crotch?

Menard's!

How do crabs leave the hospital?

On crotches...

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why are ghosts always just moaning?

Did your manners die too Use your words!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?

Look out for the mice!

How do people look at the internet?

Me: How Him: With their google-y eyes

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What is the difference between light and hard?

Well, you can sleep with a light on.

When can you operate?

Lighting a candle* Doctor: When we find you a new liver.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of car does a Loch ness monster Drive?

A nissan

Why type of nut do Wallflowers like?

Walnuts

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date?

Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!