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Violin Jokes

What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?

Viola.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

What do you call a ruckus in a string orchestra?

Violins

What's the difference between a cello and a violin?

A cello burns longer.

Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin?

Because it was a kitty fiddler.

Why does Marx's toilet play a sonata when flushed?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

A viola burns longer.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

It is usually still in the case.

Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it?

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets

What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?

You get light music.

Love

Love

What sort of violin does a ghost play?

A dreadivarius.

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

The bow is moving.

Why couldn't they show the orchestra concert on TV?

There was too much sax and violins.

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

What do you call it when one musician abuses another?

An act of violins.

Why should you never hit people with violins?

Because violins is not the answer...

What do you call a horse that plays the violin?

Fiddler on the hoof!

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Sax Jokes More Sax Jokes

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?

You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What would Chewbacca do?

And the answer is always, "Make that gargly roaring sound." So that's what I do.

What is the 25th letter of the alphabet?

The son answers, "Y." "Because I want to know!"

Sort Jokes More Sort Jokes

What sort of underwear does the ghost of a French baker wear?

Boulangerie.

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you get an anorexic chick in bed?

Well, it ain't a piece of cake.

Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

Viola Burn Jokes More Viola Burn Jokes

Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

It is usually still in the case.

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

A viola burns longer.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What kind of music do they play at Stonehenge?

Hard Rock.

Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer!

Sheet Jokes More Sheet Jokes

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How Does Snoop Dogg Do His Laundry?

He uses a lot of BLEAYOTCH!

Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?

Because they've got a lot on their mind.