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How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?

When your nose touches the ceiling!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you get a woman from to be, to bed?

Give her the D.

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's with those clogs you keep wearing?

I replied, "Wooden shoe like to know."

How do we know hamburgers have high IQ's?

They 'loin' fast!

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship?

Because an elephant never frigates. aaahhhthankyou

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?

Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box!

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What did one nose say when the other nose said "I love you"?

Back achoo!

What did the mouth say to the nose?

Nothing; mouths can't ta... oh, wait...

Ceiling Jokes More Ceiling Jokes

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

What did the ceiling fan say?

YEEEEAAAAH! GO CEILING! YOU NUMBER ONE BABY! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What time is bedtime at Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

When is it time for bed at the Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.