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How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

What grows on the World Wide Web and stings?

Internettles.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What animal has two gray feet and two brown feet?

An elephant with diarrhea.

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag?

I don't know, how?: Take the S away from "safe" and the F out of "way.": But there's no F in way.:

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What did the beaver say to the tree?

It's been nice gnawing you.

What kind of tree would have the best bark?

Dogwood. Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What are we waiting for?

The doctor asks. "Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

Acorn Jokes More Acorn Jokes

How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry