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How many times does a woman laugh after you tell her a joke?

Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.

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Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"?

Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

Enjoy the silence.

Why do you Americans drive on the wrong side of the road?

I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why was the Texan afraid of the clock?

Because it reminded him that time was moving forward.

What do you call a super kind man who spends too much time on the beach?

A tangent

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he stops laughing?

He writes scary stories.

What does a neckbeard say when make him laugh?

You made m'laugh.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Mrs Hawking

How do men and women fill the fuel tank differently?

Men jiggle the nozzle afterwards.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Which of these jokes do the pigs like best?

The corniest ones.

How do you ruin a joke?

By reposting it every week!