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What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How did Brandon Lee's wife get pregnant?

The prop guy said he was shooting blanks!

Who Shot First? Boba Fett or Jango Fett?

Han Solo

Casino Jokes More Casino Jokes

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

Why did the monks go to the casino?

Tibet.

Blast Jokes More Blast Jokes

Why did the terrorist go to Sonic?

To have a Blast!

What does an astronaut do when he gets angry?

He blasts off:

Shotgun Jokes More Shotgun Jokes

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What do you get when a ghost takes a crap?

Rectoplasm.

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes "Whack, crap!", and a skydiver goes " Crap, whack!".

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What do computer experts do at weekends?

Go for a disk drive.

What do you get when you cross reddit and a weekend?

No new messages.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

Where's the dog?

Flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

Why was that guy yelling at you?

Flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea