What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Previous Random Joke Next

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?

The gun gets triggered.

What's the difference between a white guy and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't shoot up a school.

Casino Jokes More Casino Jokes

Why doesn't china have casinos?

Because they hate Tibet.

Why did the monks go to the casino?

Tibet.

Blast Jokes More Blast Jokes

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy?

I heard everybody had a blast.

Shotgun Jokes More Shotgun Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Why are constipated people so rude?

They don't give a crap

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

How was work?

Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good

Where's the dog?

Flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.