What did the bartender say to the jumper cables?

You better not try to start anything.

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How do they count the Mexican immigrants?

They start with Juan

What has ten letters and starts with gas?

Flatulence

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Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

What is an Actor?

A man who tries to be everything but himself

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What can I get you?

Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Man: Yes, justice for Harambe.

What's a girl gotta do to get a drink?

Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*

Jumper Cable Jokes More Jumper Cable Jokes

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables?

You better not try to start anything.

What's the slowest thing in the world?

A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.