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What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What jumps up and down in front of a car?

Froglights!

What happens when an elephant sits on a car?

It breaks the trunk.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes?

He uses the finest ingredients.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Where are you and Mom going tonight?

Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.

How long does it take light to travel from the sun to the earth?

Not nearly as long as it would take to travel around your mom.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What is your first wish?

Joe: I want to be rich. Genie: Granted. What is your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

How do you make a violin sound like a viola?

Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

Fuel Jokes More Fuel Jokes

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

What to Australian Trains use as fuel?

Coal-Ala

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork?

Princess Arielephant

How do you weigh a whale?

On Whale Weigh Scales.