When Lil John goes to a hotel and they ask him if he wants turn down service, does he refuse?

That's all.

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Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?

Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box!

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

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Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend?

She refused to swallow animal by-products.

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

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What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.

Which service do you require?

Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen.

Hotel Jokes More Hotel Jokes

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

How did the little pig win at Monopoly?

He built hotels on Pork Place.