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Why didn't Kevin from Home Alone call the cops when the burglars came around?

He was running a trap house.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did the psychic get fired?

Because she didn't see it coming.

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What runs, but never sprints?

Inherited obesity

Why didn't I play in the Woman's world chess championships?

Because I ran

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What does a French beaver call her home?

Madame

Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school?

He was Russian.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

What did one cop say to the other cop while investigating a crime scene at a farm?

A rooster!

How was the party last night?

17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl.

Kevin Jokes More Kevin Jokes

What does Kevin 11 have that Peter Parker doesn't?

A living Ben and Gwen.

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

Kevin still doesn't know.

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

Who's there! Burglar! Burglar who?

Burglars don't knock!

What's the difference between a burger and a burglar?

Cooking times.