March Madness Sale - 25% Off

100 Certainty Jokes

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

Love Card

March Madness Sale

Love Card

How many chameleons are in the room with you right now?

You can never answer this question with 100% certainty.

You might also enjoy:

Chameleon Jokes More Chameleon Jokes

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?

A chameleon on a tartan rug!

What's wrong with a chameleon that can't change colors?

He has a reptile dysfunction.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do you call 16 white girls in a room?

One whole Cherokee

What kind of room has no walls?

A mushroom!

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What do call an old man that asks questions?

Pop Quiz

What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after its gotten over an illness?

How are you vealing?

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

What do you call 100 cows masterbating?

Beef Strokenoff

How many SJW's does it take to fix a lightbulb?

100. 100 who complain about the lightbulb oppressing them, and 1 man to actually do it.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you make an internet addict wait?

I'll tell you later.

Why will a blonde laugh at a joke three times?

Once when you tell it once when you tell her the punchline and once when she gets it.

Exist Jokes More Exist Jokes

What did the pirate say when he turned 81?

Nothing, as he didn't exist. The probability of anyone in that demographic reaching their eighties is particularly low, and an active pirate being eighty one years of age is further rendered a statistical impossibility given that a pirate would need to be above a certain threshold in terms of physical ability.

Why doesn't God like pizza?

Because he doesn't exist.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why was the blot of ink so sad?

It's mother was in the pen and it didn't know how long the sentence was.

What would LMFAO's hit song be called if they were Russian?

I'm Slavic and I know it

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What's the answer for question #2?

2.B or not 2.B

Why do the Irish always answer questions with another question?

He said, "do we now "