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100 Certainty Jokes

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How many chameleons are in the room with you right now?

You can never answer this question with 100% certainty.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a picture was taken with a GoPro?

Because the owner will tell you

Why are MMA fighters told not to blow their nose when in a fight?

Oops, this was supposed to be for. There's no punch line!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the Japan team say after the first half of the Women's World Cup?

I, 4-1, know we won't win.

Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy

Exist Jokes More Exist Jokes

How do you tell a hypocrite from a normal person?

The hypocrite's the one that exists.

What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch?

Bernie Sanders exists.

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

How did the writer pop the question?

He per-prosed

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.

How do you depress a room full of geeks?

Hold the door! I'm a leaf on the wind!

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How does Yo-Yo Ma answer the phone?

Cello?

How do you get a kid out from a microwave?

Please answer before my wife gets home!

Chameleon Jokes More Chameleon Jokes

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

They had a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?

A reptile dysfunction

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why did the chicken get sent off?

For persistent fowl play!

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.