Background Jokes

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me: Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?

Justice Fingers!

Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

What do bullets and I have in common?

We don't miss Harambe.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What is your favorite knick knock joke?

Do tell.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What is your secret weapon against terrorists?

We simply reply......Chuck Norris

When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What is the difference between light and hard?

Well, you can sleep with a light on.

How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga?

You poke poke poker face

Nephew Jokes More Nephew Jokes

Which woman has Jesus as a nephew?

The Auntie Christ.

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me: Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

Salvador Dali Jokes More Salvador Dali Jokes

What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast?

Surreal.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do you call a dad that works at a grocery store?

Baghdad

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel.