Brock Turner Jokes

What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

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Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds!

What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?

Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.

President Jokes More President Jokes

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a horse at night?

A Nightmare

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

Install Jokes More Install Jokes

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years

How do you install "blackout curtains"?

They just get hammered.

Consent Jokes More Consent Jokes

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Whats the age of consent in Thailand?

50$

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime?

They get free two-day shipping.

Why are bats blind?

Well your eyesight wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all day would it

Microsoft Jokes More Microsoft Jokes

Why did Microsoft name their new operating system Windows 10?

Because Windows 7 8 9!

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."