Discount Jokes

What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

March Madness Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

Where is the best place to find discounted ray bans?

Gt marked as spam

What's ISIS' favorite kind of discount?

Blowouts

When would a discount be a bad thing?

Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free.

What do you call a discounted Zuckerberg?

Marked down!

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Spam Jokes More Spam Jokes

Where is the best place to find discounted ray bans?

Gt marked as spam

Whats the only free food you will get from a Nigerian scammer?

Spam.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

Why do you think your report should be on the net?

Because my marks are all 'E's.

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

Good Place Jokes More Good Place Jokes

Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment. Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.

Where's the best place to store ice cream cones?

Conetainers

Fourth Jokes More Fourth Jokes

When would a discount be a bad thing?

Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free.

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

Blowout Jokes More Blowout Jokes

What's ISIS' favorite kind of discount?

Blowouts

How many maple leafs does it take to change a tire?

Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus

What's the best part of a pregnancy joke?

The delivery.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

What do you use when you have dry eyes?

Moist-your-eyes-er

Winter Jokes More Winter Jokes

Why don't women wear skirts during winter?

They'll get chapped lips!

What was the slogan for Shakespeare's camping shop?

Now is the winter of our discount tents