Engage Jokes

What do you call a Transformer that engages in illegal activities?

Optimus.

I Love Pizza & You

What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

What do you call a bee that gets engaged?

A Beyonc.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

How can people get engaged after dating less than a year?

You haven't seen their fall wardrobe yet and tbh it could be a deal breaker

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce after they got engaged?

Fiancee.

Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange?

Because the lime was engaged.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time?

He over 'd

What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time?

A meander-thal!

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!

What do you call a blonde in a closet?

Last years hide and seek champion

Settle Jokes More Settle Jokes

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land

What do call having to settle for buying corn?

Compra maize.

Tour Jokes More Tour Jokes

What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?

A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!

What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why are elevator jokes so funny?

Because they work on so many levels

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes... A FSHHH

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the algae end up at school?

She wanted to buy an algae bra.

Why the hell did you buy a buffalo?

Me: I'd rather have a buffalo and not need it than need a buffalo and not have it.

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

Why did the horse get a divorce?

It didn't have a stable relationship.

What do you call someone whose filed bankruptcy 4 times and divorced twice?

A GOP Presidential candidate.

Southern Girl Jokes More Southern Girl Jokes

Which is more promiscuous, a Northern girl or a Southern girl?

A Northern girl says "You can" but a Southern girl says "Y'all can"!