Existentialist Jokes

How can you tell if a Canadian is an existentialist?

Instead of saying "I'm an existentialist, eh." They will say "I'm an existentialist,... be."

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What does an existentialist bully say?

Quit being yourself, quit being yourself!

How many existentialists does it take to change a light-bulb?

Two, one to change the light-bulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness. This is courtesy of Spencer Reid.(CM)

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What is the one smell you can never get out of the house, no matter what you spray or what incense you burn?

Your grandparents.

What did one pile of burning wood say to the other?

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What dog is the worst at polishing a turd?

A poodull

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How does an engineer screw a light-bulb?

He holds the light-bulb over the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the switch.

Observe Jokes More Observe Jokes

How many existentialists does it take to change a light-bulb?

Two, one to change the light-bulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness. This is courtesy of Spencer Reid.(CM)