Football Match Jokes

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

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What lights up a football stadium?

A football match!

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

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Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a one-night stand?

A humpty-dumpty!

What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time?

He stays awake all night wondering if there's a Dog.

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What said a person who got run over by a car?

I'm tired".

Referendum Jokes More Referendum Jokes

What's the plural of "Referendum"?

Riots.

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What happens when your favorite team wins the World Cup?

You turn off your playstation.

Why doesn't Mexico win Olympic Medals?

Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

L. Jokes More L. Jokes

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"

Football Stadium Jokes More Football Stadium Jokes

Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space?

Because there is no atmosphere!

Why was the football stadium so cold?

Because of all the fans.

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're not sure, they've yet to see the light.

Which unit describes the intensity of light in South Africa?

Nelson Candela

Football Pitch Jokes More Football Pitch Jokes

What part of a football pitch smells nicest?

The scenter spot!

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......