Football Match Jokes

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

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What lights up a football stadium?

A football match!

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

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Football Pitch Jokes More Football Pitch Jokes

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

What part of a football pitch smells nicest?

The scenter spot!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a dog?

One of his legs is the same.

What is the difference between a pub and an elephant fart?

One is a bar room, and one is a Barooooooooooooom!

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

Who is the only person able to knock out Ronda Rousey?

Bill Cosby

What is irony?

When the last person you want to see is the last person you see.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

How can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired?

Sleep at night

Referendum Jokes More Referendum Jokes

What's the plural of "Referendum"?

Riots.

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

Football Stadium Jokes More Football Stadium Jokes

Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?

He tripped a fan

What lights up a football stadium?

A football match!

L. Jokes More L. Jokes

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What does a Japanese chef shout in bed?

Ooo mami! (Umami)

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"