Good News Jokes

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Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

What's a lannister's favorite pop star?

Katy Perry, because you're going hear her roar

Paul Jokes More Paul Jokes

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

What do you call it when Paul scores?

Paulinating.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why was the storm trooper such a good dad?

He could never hit his kids.

Why should you never hit people with violins?

Because violins is not the answer...

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do people say that Canadians always want to establish that they're Canadian?

As a Canadian, this offends me.

Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

Pitcher Jokes More Pitcher Jokes

Why did they stop serving beer at Miami Marlins games?

They didn't have enough pitchers.

Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties?

A pitcher filled with margaritas!

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Doc Jokes More Doc Jokes

How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

Check for bugs in your system.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Who is the favourite communist leader of all the cats?

Mao

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?

Puss in boots!