Good News Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

What's the good news?

Doctor: You should make it til Shark Week

Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees?

Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!

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Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How do cats speak to people?

They commeownicate.

What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat?

One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl.

Yankee Jokes More Yankee Jokes

What's a Yankee?

It's a quickie....but you do it yourself

Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees?

Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Stevie Wonder call his money?

Wonderbread. Anyone want to be my friend

What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not?

Democracy

Michael Jokes More Michael Jokes

What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking?

Michael

What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

Doc Jokes More Doc Jokes

How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

Where do boats go when they're sick?

The Doc

Pitcher Jokes More Pitcher Jokes

Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties?

A pitcher filled with margaritas!

What sport does the kool-aid man play?

Baseball he's a pitcher.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?

It was legend dairy.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.