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Paul Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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What do you call it when Paul scores?

Paulinating.

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?

Paul gas coin!

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

What do you get when you put Ryan dunn and Paul Walker in a porshce?

Dunn Walking!!!

Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul?

He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change.

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son.

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a yogurt and america?

If you leave the yogurt for 100 years alone, it develops a culture.

What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

What's the first thing you install on a new computer?

The operating system

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What did the monkey say when he was on a winning streak?

I've banana roll lately.

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why do women love Jordan Spieth?

Because he came second.

How do you tell which truck is the mail truck?

It has huge balls on it. Credit goes to the 70 year old man who just came into my work and made my day.

Gorilla Jokes More Gorilla Jokes

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter?

They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

What do you call five black cars that all crash into each other?

A three car pile-up.

Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

On all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What is half the diameter of a radish?

The radiush.

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world?

Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)

Why did linkin park wrap themselves up in plastic wrap before they jumped off a cliff?

So in the end they didn't even splatter.