Paul Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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What do you call it when Paul scores?

Paulinating.

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?

Paul gas coin!

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

What do you get when you put Ryan dunn and Paul Walker in a porshce?

Dunn Walking!!!

Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul?

He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change.

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son.

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

Why Won't Anyone Tell me the Name of Ukraine's 5th Largest City?

They keep telling me to stop asking...

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

What does a racist joke and a crime have in common?

They both start with you looking over your shoulder.

What's the worst feeling when getting your prostate examined?

Both of the doctor's hands on your shoulders.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

What did the pirate tell his littler sister when she asked if she could hold his parrot?

ISIS

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What is the definition of a Freudian slip?

When you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet.

Why would anybody ever want to visit New Brunswick?

I hear their bowling alleys are pretty nice.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How do you call a 100 m race between siamese twins?

Head to head race

What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it?

A $20 bill

Octopus Jokes More Octopus Jokes

What gave you that idea?

Queried the octopus. "Oh, I have inside information" said the whale.

What does an octopus have ten of?

Tickles...