Hard Feeling Jokes

What did the man say to his wife when he failed to get an erection?

No hard feelings.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What are the two words men hate most unless used together?

Don't Stop

What do you call a man that states the obvious?

A man that states the obvious

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?

A new bar

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.

How do u find an old man in the dark?

Its not that hard

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains?

Patty O'Furniture.

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

100 Mile Jokes More 100 Mile Jokes

Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour?

A frog in a blender!

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

Why can't cows do ballet?

Because they lactose.

What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch?

Moo Mitch, get out the hay

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

What does a racist drink to wake himself up every morning?

A KKK-Cup!

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper?

Ruff