Vet Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

Why did the dog go to the vets?

He was pawly. I'm sorry.

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

What does a dog get at the vet?

FIXED

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

How do I do that?

He asked. "Carefully" replied the vet.

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How high is it Doctor?

She wanted to know. 'One hundred and three' said the doctor. 'What is the world record '

Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor?

The doctor said it was all in her head

Vietnam Jokes More Vietnam Jokes

What does a menopausal Vietnam vet suffer from?

Hot flashbacks

Why didn't Vietnam return to feudalism following 1975?

Cause Charlie don't serf.

Injection Jokes More Injection Jokes

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

What's the newest fitness craze sweeping American police forces?

Lead injections.

Bodybuilder Jokes More Bodybuilder Jokes

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask "Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?

Because you can never be too careful.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What did the critic think of German food?

Their sausages are the wurst.

What's a German Ninja drink beer out of?

A clandestein.

Tech Jokes More Tech Jokes

What's the most surprising advancement in tech?

Headphone jacks are obsolete.

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Dug

What's the difference between a man on a unicycle wearing a tuxedo and a man on a bicycle wearing a tank top?

Attire.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many pregnant women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one. She holds it while the world revolves around her.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.