Vet Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

Why did the dog go to the vets?

He was pawly. I'm sorry.

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

What does a dog get at the vet?

FIXED

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why are you asking me that question Can't you see I'm busy!

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Where can you leave your dog when you shop?

The barking lot.

What does the aardvark call his dog?

Aard-bark!

Tech Jokes More Tech Jokes

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did Caesar say when was in agreement?

I came. I saw. I concurred.

What happened when the sausage came in first?

An announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Why are you divorcing her?

Me "She changed the station during Bohemian Rhapsody." J "You get half her stuff." *air guitar solo*

How Many Marshawn Lynches Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Only one. Just as long as you hand him the damn lightbulb.

German Jokes More German Jokes

Who pays for the drinks?

The German!

How do you greet a German baker?

Gluten Tag

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What's the best time to visit your Chinese dentist?

Tooth hurty

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention?

Cause William Shatner Coffee.

Why was the young strawberry upset?

Cause his mom was in a jam.