Illegal Immigrant Jokes

What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants?

E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.

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Why was the illegal immigrant so offensive?

Because he crossed the line

What do you call a fight between a child molester and an illegal immigrant?

Alien versus Predator.

What Do You Call A Fight Between An Illegal Immigrant And A Child Molester?

Alien vs. Predator

What's the difference between a feminist and an illegal immigrant?

The illegal immigrant knows how to cook.

Where do most illegal immigrants go in America?

Allah-bama.

Why... Can't illegal US immigrants play Uno?

Because they keep stealing all the Green Cards

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Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?

When they had lots of sleepless knights!

What do you call war fought with bees?

Beeological Warfare

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Who knows about math and science and is always close by?

An engi-near!

How do you know a mod of /r/jokes is Asian?

Dereted

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Why is English such a hard language to learn?

Because it's

Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at sea.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

('He wanted cold hard cash!')

Why would I want to quit smoking?

Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer

Uno Jokes More Uno Jokes

Why can't youplay UNO with Mexicans?

Because they'll take all of your green cards.

Why don't people like to play uno with Mexicans?

Because they always steal the green cards....

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What does a black and white bear use to cook it's dinner?

A pan, duh!

Why did the Cook cross the road?

Because there were "Too Many Cooks".

E.T. Jokes More E.T. Jokes

Whats E.T.'s first name?

Yodela

Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?

He saw the phone bill.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bucket of blended dead baby and a bucket of sand?

I can't gargle sand.

What's the difference between a a women's track team and a tribe of pygmy's?

One is a cunning bunch of runts and the the is a running bunch of.....nevermind.