Michael Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

What did Michael get for his birthday?

Gloves... Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet Knock, knock Who is it Not Michael

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking?

Michael

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race?

He couldn't get a head.

Why did the farmer win the Nobel Prize?

There was a clerical error. The award was intended to go to Malala Yousafzai for her advocacy work for education for young girls.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why was the skeleton using the Internet?

To bone up on his schoolwork.

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did Leonardo DaVinci call his house?

The DaVinci Abode

Who was the best actor in the bible?

Samson he brought the house down!

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What's the difference between Michael j. Fox and an earthquake?

Earthquakes stop shaking

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What's it like to work in customer service/retail?

Imagine there's a race of people called customers. Now imagine you're a huge racist.

What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog?

Deciding which to tell people first.

Star War Jokes More Star War Jokes

What do you call a fight between film actors?

Star wars!

What does a Pokemon baby say to his dad in Star Wars?

Waba Fett

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

How do your pants fit?

The man responded, "Like a glove".

Xbox Jokes More Xbox Jokes

What's an Xbox fanboys' least favourite film?

P.S. I Love You

Why is Xbox 360's successor called Xbox One and not Xbox 720?

Cos 720 is 1