Moose Jokes

Why did the hunter scold his blonde wife after she shot a moose over quota?

Cause when he asked her why she shot it, she replied: "I asked it what it was before I shot. But that cow wasn't gonna fool me!"

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What's the difference between a Maine girl and a moose?

15 lbs and a flannel shirt.

What's the difference between a Canadian woman and a moose?

50 pounds and a flannel.

What's the difference between a moose and an ant?

A moose has antlers, but an ant doesn't have mooselers.

What do you call a burial chamber full of Moose?

Moosoleum.

What do you call a moose with no name?

Anonymoose

What gun do you use to hunt a moose?

A moosecut!

What do you call a play about a moose on a bicycle?

A Moosical

What do you call a rebellious teenager whose parents are a lamb and a moose?

A radical mooselamb

What do you get when you cross a moose with a Mexican?

A Mexican moose

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What's the best way to ward off ghosts?

To which I replied: "a camera."

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How did pirates communicate before the internet?

Pier to Pier Networking

How do trees access the internet?

They log on

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Where did the newlywed horses stay?

In the bridle suite!

How do you stay warm outside in the winter?

You just stand in a corner, they are usually around 90 degrees.

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What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his vodka to fast?

Stop "Russian"

What do you call an Arnold Palmer with vodka?

A John Daly

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What do you get when you cross a chief with a black belt?

Kung Food!

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?

Cross mouse cards!

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why did the scientist get punched in the restaurant?

He ordered some NaCl.

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

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Why is Jennie McCarthy so bad at RPG's?

The last time her son had a healing potion he lost 15 IQ Points.

How many years before we forget if 9/11 was in '00 or '01?

15 or 16

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What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

Gilles de la gourmette

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane