Object Jokes

Why do objects disappear when you move them twice?

Because you remove them.

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What is the only man made object visible from space?

Holland.

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair?

A Hun knee comb.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

How does a frog fasten two objects together?

Rivets.

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Orient Jokes More Orient Jokes

What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

Inheritance

Why are programmers so consumeristic?

Because they're object oriented.

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

What do you call it when a Catholic remodels his kitchen?

A counter reformation.

What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What do you call a dad balloon that disappears?

Pops

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Why frogs don't use Google?

They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

How do you get a sweet little old lady to say F***?

Get another one to yell BINGO

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

Japan Jokes More Japan Jokes

What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan?

A Kami.

Why are snakes so difficult to pick up in Japan?

Because in Japan, snakes are hebi.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

What does Hillary's emails and a racist post have in common?

Removed

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.