Object Jokes

Why do objects disappear when you move them twice?

Because you remove them.

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What is the only man made object visible from space?

Holland.

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?

He doesn't approve of same sect marriage

What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair?

A Hun knee comb.

What's the difference between a heroine and heroin?

One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

How does a frog fasten two objects together?

Rivets.

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Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What do wolves say when you yell barba streisand in the forest?

UuuuuUuuuUUUUuuuuuuuUuUUUuuuuuuuuuU

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...

What do you call a horse that's thinking of home?

Mentally in-stable.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What did terrorists used to call Fidel Castro?

Infidel Castro

What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth?

A pedi-file

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you pick up women in Waco, Texas?

With a DustBuster.

What do women and hand grenades have in common?

When you pull the ring off, your house goes away

Ferguson Jokes More Ferguson Jokes

Why did the Ferguson protesters go home early last night?

The whole thing was a gas.

Why are they rioting in Ferguson?

Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done.

Review Jokes More Review Jokes

Why did the researcher take his paper to the harbour?

To get it pier reviewed.

What did Christian Grey say when he read reviews of his movie?

People did not like my movie. I guess I am 50 shades of letdown... But I can sure GET UP"!

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

Why did the feminist get fired from Panera?

Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich.

How do you email a sandwich?

In bytes.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What do you feed a disappearing cat?

Evaporated milk

How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.