Original Jokes

Why was Kaiser Wilhelm II such a weak ruler?

The sequels are never as good as the originals.

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Why couldn't the joke walk?

It was lame. (I think this is an original by me)

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first?

Pupil: I want to know how it ends!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

I don't know. It kept breaking my guitar strings so I gave up.

Philanthropist Jokes More Philanthropist Jokes

Why did the philanthropist learn how to subtract?

Because he wanted to make a difference. My first original, time for open mic!

What is the difference between a philanthropist and Nicki Minaj?

A philanthropist likes to impress people with his larg**esse**!

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

What's the difference between Reddit CEO Ellen Pao, and Yoko Ono?

About 40 years.

What would the Reddit political party be called?

The know-kn0thing party.

Justin Timberlake Jokes More Justin Timberlake Jokes

What is Justin Timberlake's favorite river in Russia?

Crimea River

What is Putin's favorite Justin Timberlake song?

Cremia River

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do you get when you put the batteries in the Energizer Bunny backwards?

It keeps coming and coming and coming...

What do North Korea and my girlfriend have in common?

Neither want me coming inside them.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What word is always spelled wrong?

Wrong

What do you call a Psychic Compromise?

A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

How does a SQL expert get a date?

GetDate() (I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the revolving door?

It won't be long now...

How can you open a banana?

With a monkey!