Presidency Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

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What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

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2020 Jokes More 2020 Jokes

Who would you like for president in 2020?

Anyone who doesn't have poor visions.

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

Zimbabwe Jokes More Zimbabwe Jokes

What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe?

200 Dollars.

What's the capital of Zimbabwe?

Hyper-inflated.

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold?

One U.S. Liter

Why hasn't Mexico got an Olympic team?

Because the ones who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S

2020 Vision Jokes More 2020 Vision Jokes

Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

Where do you see yourself in four years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

Russian President Jokes More Russian President Jokes

What does the Russian President enjoy having on his fries?

Putine...

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do MLK, Elvis, and the Houston Oilers have in common?

They all died in Tennessee

What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?

Oy vey!

Speaker Jokes More Speaker Jokes

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

What do you call an incredibly well-dressed punk?

The Speaker of the House