Sandy Hook Jokes

What did Sandy Hook elementary get in the mail instead of new books?

Empty Magazines.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What is Oscar Pistorius's new favourite band?

Bullets For My Valentine

What's the difference between a repost and a bullet?

I don't want to put a repost in my mouth

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride?

It was two tired...

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

They're intended for children but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

What do you get when you cross a child and an alligator?

An alligator.

Survivor Jokes More Survivor Jokes

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

What do you call feeling bad about watching lame reality TV shows?

Survivor guilt.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college?

Bison

Year Old Jokes More Year Old Jokes

What's the best thing about twenty-three year olds?

There's 20 of them

What's the best thing about screwing twenty one year olds?

There are twenty of them.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What did Jesus say when he was nailed upon the cross?

Me! That hurts!

Why should you never shout at a pirate?

Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame, I just made it up)

40 Jokes More 40 Jokes

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

How do you start a black parade?

Roll a 40 down the street.