Scottish Man Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

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What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

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West Jokes More West Jokes

How Swift is Kanye?

About as West as Taylor

What feels good in the west but feels cotton in the East?

Happi-ness

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What boy doesn't love milkshakes?

If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed.

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!

What does the rapping shepard sing to his flock?

Ewe, crank that soldier boy!

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What did the child with no arms get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet.

What has got four legs and an arm?

A Rottweiler in a playground.

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

What do you say to an art student with a job?

Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese

What do you call an anorexic with thrush?

A quarter pounder with cheese

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild?

They both give you tightness in the pants.

What is Marios favorite type of pants?

Denim Denim Denim

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has fifty legs but still can't walk?

Half a centipede.

What do you call a door with no legs?

A door.

Clan Jokes More Clan Jokes

What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.