Scottish Man Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

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Clan Jokes More Clan Jokes

What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leafs?

Russel

What does an octopus wear on a cold day?

A coat of arms!

Quarter Pounder Jokes More Quarter Pounder Jokes

What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Who's there! Baby! Baby who?

Baby love my baby love....!

Why did everyone love the fisherman?

He was a real catch

West Jokes More West Jokes

How Swift is Kanye?

About as West as Taylor

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear.

Why does Vincent van Gogh always look forward to thenew year?

Because everyone wishes him a new ear.

Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!" And a Scottsman says "Hey McLeod, get of me ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"