Slit Jokes

What do emos say at good parties?

It slit.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do?

Slit the writ of habeas corpus.

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Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What does a feminist pick up from the post office?

Their femail

Why's it so hard to find marathon and triathlon reviews in Germany?

Well, you know what happened last time they picked a race...

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What's worse than a chauvinist man?

A woman who doesn't know her place.

What do you get when you watch 'Cinderella' backwards?

A woman in her place...

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Why did the ghost go to the bar?

For the BOOOOze.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's a Chinese woman called with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene. (Normally start this as a two part joke with, "What do you call a woman with... Ilene." Ha... But figured everyone had already heard that).

What do women and Google have in common?

They never let you finish first. (#s)

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge?

I set* ***who*** *free "*

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.

What did the nihilist say to the physicist?

Nevermind, it doesn't really matter.

Conduct Jokes More Conduct Jokes

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest

What do you call a mammoth who conducts an orchestra?

Tuskanini.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

How is your day going?

G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.