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Spongebob Jokes

How does SpongeBob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

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Why can't SpongeBob make the honor roll?

Because he's a C sponge!

Why couldn't SpongeBob get a mortgage?

Because his house was underwater.

What's SpongeBob's worst personality trait?

He's way too self-absorbent

What do SpongeBob and LeBron James have in common?

They both hit the deck and flop like a fish.

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Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why did the hipster never catch a fish?

Because he didn't go in the mainstream

What did the fish say to the man draining its aquarium?

WATER YOU DOING

Rug Jokes More Rug Jokes

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

What do physics majors do when they hit the club?

They torque it..

Mortgage Jokes More Mortgage Jokes

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

It was repossessed!

Why is it so hard to get a mortgage in Columbia SC?

All the homes there are underwater

Square Dance Jokes More Square Dance Jokes

What dance do hippies hate?

A square dance.

What did one triangle say to the other triangle?

Hey, we should get together and square dance!

Lebron James Jokes More Lebron James Jokes

What do Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James have in common that led to their success in the NBA?

Hard work and dedication.

Why does LeBron James drive automatic?

He has no clutch.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What the best way to cut down a tree?

A Suhhh Dude

What do onions and people have in common?

I weep uncontrollably when I cut them.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?