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How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the pirate say when his kids were about to watch their favorite cartoon?

ARE YE READY KIDS!

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

What's high in the middle and round on both ends?

Ohio.

Hot Dog Jokes More Hot Dog Jokes

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

What did the cow say about the beef industry?

I've got some steak in it.

Why did the farmer stop smoking with his cattle?

Because the steaks were too high...

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.

What did the monster say to his psychiatrist?

I feel abominable.'

Gasp Jokes More Gasp Jokes

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.