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How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

Why Do Kids In High school Take Art?

You don't have to pay for the glue to sniff...

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool?

You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage.

Why does Poland stay from Germany?

A couple decades ago they had a three way with Russia that ended poorly

Hot Dog Jokes More Hot Dog Jokes

Which dog is always without a tail?

A hot dog.

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

How do sharks like their steak?

Whale-done

Why don't vampires like steak?

Because it's bad for their heart.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What's the difference between a monster and a mouse?

A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.

What monster plays the most April Fool's jokes?

Prankenstein!

Gasp Jokes More Gasp Jokes

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.