Steak Jokes

Why was the chef afraid of cooking steaks on a plane?

The steaks have never been higher

April Sale

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$14.99 $19.99

What do you call a steak that is a girl?

Miss.Steak

What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper?

I find your lack of steak disturbing.

How do tennis players prefer their steak?

Wimbledon and nicely served.

Why don't cows smoke weed?

The steaks would just be too high.

Why is steak harder to cook than spinach?

It takes a lot more thyme to accomplish.

Why did Mr. Steaks decide he would take his wife's surname?

Because he didn't want his daughters to be called Ms. Steaks.

What happens when you give a cow marijuana?

The "steaks" get higher

Which is more stable, a hamburger or a steak?

Hamburger, it's in the ground state.

April Sale

Love Card

$5.99

Why can't you barbecue in Amsterdam?

Because the steaks are too high.

How do lions like their steaks?

RAWR

Why can't short people cook?

Because the steaks are too high.

How did you find your steak sir?

Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!

What did the farmer say after he fed his cows pot?

The Steaks are high.

Why should you never BBQ on your roof?

The steaks are too high.

Why did the rancher get out of the hemp-fed beef market?

The steaks were too high.

How do sharks like their steak?

Whale-done

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

What is Joan of Arc's least favorite food?

Steak

$Your Age Is Only Math$

April Sale

Your Age Is Only Math

$5.99

What is a vampires least favorite food?

Steak!...

What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?

A steak-out!

What do you call a cow with one leg?

Steak.

What did the cow say about the beef industry?

I've got some steak in it.

How does Lady Gaga like her......Steaks?

Raw, Raw, Raw Raw Raw!

What if a man existed w/one hand that's a steak and the other is lobster plus unlimited salad bar?

This is the plot of Edward Sizzlerhands

Why are steak puns so rare?

Because they are never well done.

How did you find the steak, sir?

The man looks at her and says "I just moved the potatoes."

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

Why did the cattle leave the marijuana field?

Because the steaks were too high!

April Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

Why are the steaks so high?

Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field.

How do you turn a cow into a steak?

You mootilate it.

What do Canadians put on their steaks?

Eh-1 (Sorry)

What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?

Filet delay!

What can I get for you?

Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife

What do you call a steak that is cooked wrong?

A mistake

What's a vampire cows worst fear?

Steaks.

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

What food do vampires hate?

Steaks.

How does a metalworker like his Steak cooked?

Wel-dern

Why didn't the cow want to go skydiving?

The steaks were too high.

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

Why don't midgets like barbecues?

Because the steaks are too high.

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

Why is there a draft?

Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

Why did the farmer stop smoking with his cattle?

Because the steaks were too high...

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?

The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

Why don't vampires like steak?

Because it's bad for their heart.

Why do Butchers don't risk it all in life?

Because the Steaks are too high.

Why do you have your thumb on my steak?

So I don't drop it again, Sir.

You might also enjoy:

Drunk Driving Jokes More Drunk Driving Jokes

How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do fireflies start a race?

Ready steady glow!

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?

His senentences start with "A woman once told me.."

T Jokes More T Jokes

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Ethiopia Jokes More Ethiopia Jokes

What's Sad About Lunch in Ethiopia?

There is no lunch.

What do they call the Hunger Games in Ethiopia?

Games.

Ceiling Jokes More Ceiling Jokes

Why did the bolt in the ceiling have to go to therapy?

Because it was screwed up!

What's so cool about Star Wars anyway?

Then jetpack through the ceiling.

Chef Jokes More Chef Jokes

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What's the hardest part of making chicken fried steak?

Teaching the chicken to cook

How do you cook a stoned ham?

420F Glaze it Ok I'm leaving

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber?

Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

What happens when a pope dies?

Another pops up.