How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

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Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why don't elephants like penguins?

Because they can't get the wrapper off.

How do you get an elephant out of a Safeway?

You take the ' ' out of ' ', and the ' ' out of ' '.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?

I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend?

When he starts using condoms with other girls.

F Jokes More F Jokes

How do you get an elephant across the freeway?

Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out "way".... (there's no effin' way)

How do you take the letter "F" out of the word "WAY"?

There is no F in way.

C Jokes More C Jokes

Why do pirates not know the alphabet?

They always get stuck at "C".

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

They're stuck at C for years

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What did the police officer want from the criminal store?

Just ice.

What the hell is an Ovechkin?

The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What do you call a lamington that weighs a lot?

A lamingTON!

Where do you go if you need to weigh a whale?

A whale-weigh station!