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How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How can you tell when a salesperson is lying?

His lips are moving.

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

Where do tech guys with diarrhea go to work?

IBM

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the Manicurist feel after her salon was robbed?

Defiled.

What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What's the difference between me and my new couch?

The couch pulls out...

What do you call two couches that are in love with each other?

Homosectionals.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What did the midget get when he ran under the strippers legs?

A flap in the face.

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

You can't wash your face in a buffalo.

T Jokes More T Jokes

What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear?

T-shoes!

How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.