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What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if you drop a blue marble in the Red Sea?

It sinks. (Courtesy of my 9 year old daughter)

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he stops laughing?

He writes scary stories.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What did one cookie say to the other cookie?

You've got a chip on your shoulder. What did the deer say to the bear Your unbearable

Why aren't you doing very well in history?

Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?

My hand.

Why does she keep cleaning the floors?

Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

What's three times worse than OCD?

OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive?

Aarrrrrrr Kelly!

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Pool Jokes More Pool Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs...... sitting at your door?

Matt....floating in your pool Bob....hanging on your wall Art.... water skiing Skipper.

What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in?

DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!

Pregnant Wife Jokes More Pregnant Wife Jokes

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'