What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between 2015 and Moore's Law?

One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.

What's the difference between America and yogurt?

One has culture.

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How does someone pay for a painting?

With Monet

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Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

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Please get out of the swimming pool

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My cat would be dead before I got 50

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What did the vegan Neanderthal say when walking in to the woman's bathroom?

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What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I never had a garbanzo bean in my mouth!

Lentil Jokes More Lentil Jokes

Whats the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil?

No one ever paid $50 to have a Lentil on their face.

What's the difference between a chick pea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my chest.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?

There was a face off in the corner

What did the ghost say to the other ghost at the Halloween party?

Let's get sheet-faced!