When was Rome built?

Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What does A&W stand for?

Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

Where am I?

Dad: GO ASK YOUR MOTHER!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!

What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

How long does it take to build a castle?

A Fortnight

Why did Thoreau build a house?

Because he wanted to be walled-in.

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

What can we do to stop polluting our waters?

Pupil: Stop taking baths

What are you doing crawling into school ten minutes late?

Pupil: Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late!

Rome Jokes More Rome Jokes

How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

What did Cesar say when the people of Rome wanted to re-empower the Tribune?

Oh, Plebes.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.