Rome Jokes

Why won't you find any gondolas in the Eternal City?

Because Rome wasn't built in a bay.

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How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

Why do Americans like to visit Rome so much?

Because it reminds them of home.

Who ate a lot and conquered Rome?

Atilla the Hungry.

What did Cesar say when the people of Rome wanted to re-empower the Tribune?

Oh, Plebes.

Where's the best place to explore?

Rome.

What's the best city to search the World Wide Web in?

Rome.

What do they call soda in Rome?

Pope.

Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?

Because all the roads lead to Rome.

Why did Hannibal invade Rome?

OC Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

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When was Rome built?

Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

Because it was a government job.

Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?

X always equals 10

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

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Where is the best place to find hot grills?

A barbecue

Where's a good place to get Italian food in the middle east?

Allah Garden.

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Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?

A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

How do you make a sports science major cry?

Remind them that high school is over.

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How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food?

By giving her a Brazilian wax first!

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

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Where do Pandas live?

On the road to Extinction.

Why did Serj Tankian cross the road?

Because he wanted to...

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Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?

Because all the roads lead to Rome.

What do you call your GPS if it has the voice of Terry Crews?

Crews Control.

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Why aren't burgers the least bit scared of Halloween?

They're used to people 'goblin' them!

What do pirates use to copy files?

Yarrrrrsync!

Ancient Rome Jokes More Ancient Rome Jokes

Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?

X always equals 10

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.