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Rome Jokes

Why won't you find any gondolas in the Eternal City?

Because Rome wasn't built in a bay.

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How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

Why do Americans like to visit Rome so much?

Because it reminds them of home.

Who ate a lot and conquered Rome?

Atilla the Hungry.

What did Cesar say when the people of Rome wanted to re-empower the Tribune?

Oh, Plebes.

Where's the best place to explore?

Rome.

What's the best city to search the World Wide Web in?

Rome.

What do they call soda in Rome?

Pope.

Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?

Because all the roads lead to Rome.

Why did Hannibal invade Rome?

OC Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

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When was Rome built?

Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

Because it was a government job.

Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?

X always equals 10

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

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Soda Jokes More Soda Jokes

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

What do you call a soda that's really sad?

So Dapressed. I'll leave now.

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Why couldn't Led Zeppelin play pinball?

They had No Quarter

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve?

Christmas Adam

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

Conquer Jokes More Conquer Jokes

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving

Who ate a lot and conquered Rome?

Atilla the Hungry.

Bay Jokes More Bay Jokes

What kind of bird flies around bays?

Bagles

Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul?

Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel.

Explore Jokes More Explore Jokes

What's the first place Dora explored?

The Mexican border.

How does the vicar explore the Internet?

With the church mouse.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the vampire go to hospital?

He wanted his ghoulstones removed.

Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where do you find an enlightened mosquito?

In Bhuddapest

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"