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Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How long has your car been doing that?

Me: Hubs: The engine smoking at a stoplight Me: I dont know, I look at my phone at lights.

What is Harrison Ford called when he smokes weed?

Han So-high.

Marijuana Jokes More Marijuana Jokes

What do you get when you administer marijuana to cows?

High steaks! (I'll just see my way out...)

What happens when you give a cow marijuana?

The "steaks" get higher

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why do Italian men wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

What do you call a meeting exclusively attended by pine, juniper and fir trees?

A coniference.

Why your oven doesn't attend an university?

It already has at least hundred degrees

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does a Knight do at night?

Nighty Night

Why doesn't anyone in insert nations capital use the toilet in the morning?

So they have something to do at night.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

Why was the chef afraid of cooking steaks on a plane?

The steaks have never been higher

Why can't you barbecue in Amsterdam?

Because the steaks are too high.

Rancher Jokes More Rancher Jokes

Why Do Ranchers Love Getting A Sore Throat?

Because they always get a little hoarse

Why did the maniacal chemist drop a rancher into his latest concoction?

Because the rancher was a cattlist.

Steer Jokes More Steer Jokes

What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?

Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)

How do bulls drive their cars?

They steer them!