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Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time?

Getting all high and mighty

What do you call a second hand gold necklace?

Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)

Marijuana Jokes More Marijuana Jokes

What did the Chinese vocalist do after smoking some marijuana?

He Shanghai.

What kind of marijuana do cows smoke?

Moo-dicinal

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Stop going in circles and get to the point.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why should you attend someone's funeral although you know they won't be attend yours back?

Because they will be at your funeral in spirit

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What happens at night in Bangladesh?

It gets Dhaka

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?

Filet delay!

What's a vampire cows worst fear?

Steaks.

Rancher Jokes More Rancher Jokes

Why did the rancher get out of the hemp-fed beef market?

The steaks were too high.

Why Do Ranchers Love Getting A Sore Throat?

Because they always get a little hoarse

Steer Jokes More Steer Jokes

What do you call a Steer playing with itself?

Beef Stroganoff

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.