Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Who doesn't want to be a millionaire?

Well, certainly not a billionaire.

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store?

For the watch

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do jihadists drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the french press...

What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?

One baits his hook the other hates his book.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose?

Bicycle petals!

Why does Bane and a monk get along well in the morning?

Because the friar rises!

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What do the song "Dixie Chicken" and a Klansman have in common?

You would refer to both as a Fowl(/ul) Southerner.

What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!

Steven Hawking Jokes More Steven Hawking Jokes

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Power Jokes More Power Jokes

What are swearing outdoor grills powered with?

Profane tanks.

What do you call a dinosaur with too much power?

A tyrant-osaurus rex!

Uprise Jokes More Uprise Jokes

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

What would you call an uprising at Charles Xavier's school?

A mutant-y