Why should you pay scientists with $50 bills?

They're always looking for Grant money.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

Why did the stair railing give money to Beethoven?

A bannister always pays his deafs.

0 Jokes More 0 Jokes

What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it?

A $20 bill

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

Because cot(0) doesn't exist... This joke... it burns my eyes...

Scientist Jokes More Scientist Jokes

Why do scientists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?

Because, if you can't helium or curium, you'd barium!

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

0 Bill Jokes More 0 Bill Jokes

Why are diapers like $10 bills?

Because you have to change them.

What does Bill Gates call it when someone drops a $20 bill on the ground?

Littering.

Grant Money Jokes More Grant Money Jokes

What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar?

Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.

Why should you pay scientists with $50 bills?

They're always looking for Grant money.