911 911 Jokes

Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 Who?

YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!!!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How to not get scolded by your parents if you want GTA V?

Mom! I want to play GTA V! Giant Turtles ATTACK V!

Who plays center forward for the vampire football team?

The ghoulscorer.

Pardon Jokes More Pardon Jokes

What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?

Pardon me.

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me

Blond Jokes More Blond Jokes

What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

A glimmer of hope

How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to spin the ladder.

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

What did the bear say to her date?

I'll be down in a minute I'm bearly dressed

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

So the violists don't need to be retrained.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

Why isn't energy made of atoms?

It doesn't matter.

What did the guy who got fired for always being late say?

It was just a matter of time.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy who makes "women in the kitchen" jokes?

Single.

What do you call two guys using the same urinal?

Peers

Ocean Jokes More Ocean Jokes

Why are oceans so salty?

Because the Earth is always tilted.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

Bob

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

What's worse than fighting an uphill battle?

Getting to the top and realizing it's all downhill from there.