29+ Funny Abortion Clinic Jokes

What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven?

If you guessed "Heaven nun" or "Angel nun" you're wrong. The answer was "Nun of the Above".

What do you call a sacred, flammable piece of wood?

A match made in Heaven.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

What did the fresh egg say to the boiling pot of water?

It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning.

Plenty Jokes More Plenty Jokes

What do you get a body builder for Christmas?

A dictionary, so they get plenty of definition.

What do you give an elephant with big feet?

Plenty of room!

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why are girls so hot?

Because they lay out in the sun so much

Why did the yankee wolf like southern ladies?

By the time they said "I'm not that kind of girl" they were.

Unscrew Jokes More Unscrew Jokes

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the difference?

What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.