Anybody Jokes

Why don't skeletons go to the Veterans Day parade?

Because they don't have anybody to go with.

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Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

Because they never have any sandwiches.

Why would anybody ever want to visit New Brunswick?

I hear their bowling alleys are pretty nice.

Why shouldn't you kiss anybody on New Years Day?

Because it's the first date.

Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree?

Because they're stuck up

Why don't the Mexicans have an olympics team?

Because anybody who can run jump or swim is in the States.

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.

Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins?

Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.

Why doesn't Mexico have any good athletes?

Because anybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in America

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

What does a duck like to have for breakfast?

Quacker Oats

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did the sheriff arrest the tree?

Because its leaves rustled.

Why does lightning always strike trees?

They are the path of leaf resistance.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What hurts really bad?

Frequency!

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

What did the Japanese man say when he jumped out of Office Depot?

SUPPLIES!!!

Why isn't Mexico in the Summer Olympics?

Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here.

America Jokes More America Jokes

What happened to the T?

America: "We threw it in the Harbor!"

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Chill Jokes More Chill Jokes

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?

Hope you're ready for the next episode

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the Basketball team?

Cause she ran away from the ball

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?

Necking.

Why is horse racing so romantic?

Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!