Anybody Jokes

Why don't skeletons go to the Veterans Day parade?

Because they don't have anybody to go with.

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Why shouldn't you kiss anybody on New Years Day?

Because it's the first date.

Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins?

Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What am I?

I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.

Which woman has Jesus as a nephew?

The Auntie Christ.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash

What did the apple say to the banana?

Nothing -- apples don't talk!

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What is red and hurts when you bite it?

A Brick.

What did the artist say to the dentist?

Matisse hurt!

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

What country do cows love to visit?

Moo Zealand!

What can you tell a black kid to do?

Go visit his family tree.

New Years Day Jokes More New Years Day Jokes

Why shouldn't you kiss anybody on New Years Day?

Because it's the first date.

What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?

Turns over a new leaf!

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States?

Because in America, freedom rings.

What do you get when you cut up an avagadro?

Guaca**mole**y edit: how do I make it not say this joke is Dirty

Christmas Tree Jokes More Christmas Tree Jokes

What do The Pope &amp a Christmas Tree have in common?

The balls are just for decoration.

Why did the Christmas tree get thrown in prison?

Treeson.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference between a raft guide and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family.

What do you call a family of 8 rabbits?

One rabbyte