Apple Pie Jokes

Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

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Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie?

Puff pastry!

What did the apple say to the apple pie?

You've got some crust.

Why did the apple pie get fired from his job?

Because he showed up baked.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.

What's the difference between a mining company and priests?

A mining company puts miners in shafts.

Ice Cream Jokes More Ice Cream Jokes

Where do you learn to make ice cream?

Sundae School

Why are children's birthday parties never held in outer space?

Because I hear that in space there is no ice-cream.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a woman who throws letters in the fire?

Bernadette

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw away all of the W's.

Grocery Bag Jokes More Grocery Bag Jokes

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Who's Gotye?

While their kids were like, "What's a record

How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School?

Just planning ahead...

Communist Jokes More Communist Jokes

Why did Russia lose the race?

Because it was Stalin! (Sorry. Communist jokes aren't funny unless every gets them.)

Why were there no feminists in Communist China?

Because everyone had equal rice.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What drives the hype train?

The hyper drive.

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs!

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors